Are we really treating our friends the same?

Being a woman can be nuts. The hormonal rollercoaster can be one wild ride. To learn to control the emotions within is not always easy especially when little things set it off. We know that God made us women to be strong and that strength within is what carries us through.
By now you have figured out I am struggling within certain emotions which are being tamed but at time buck like a wild horse. I am frustrated in how different I am treated and not sure how to deal with the seemingly non existance of me... well I exist but only when people want me to.
I exist because God created me and I know that what He says should only matter but when you have prayed for a long time for certain things and hope others felt the same but never seeing the words yet you see it being said to others... I end up wondering what is wrong with me! Why is it so hard to say certain things to me but so easy to say to others. I quite do not understand it. Is there something in me that creates an unapproachable atmosphere where it cannot be said or perhaps because of something in my past makes it uncomfortable to say those things?
It really boggles my mind and this isnt the first time I have thought of this , it is just the first time I really talked about it to this extent. I have tried to not let it bother me and just sweep it under the rug but ... when it hits me in the face I just want to cry because it just gives me a painful twinge in my heart when I think of all the times I have said certain things yet it is never said to me but to others! I try so hard to keep it at bay but tonight I have just had it. I do not like it when there is a two face scenerio going on. Act one way to one person but another way to another.. I try not to do that to people, I rather be real and say what is true in my own heart.
I have a desire to meet a few people in my life however that is not the same with other person and it really makes me wonder if I should ever hope for this desire and just toss it all away and forget how much it means to me. One sidedness doesnt cut it for me... ah well I am glad to say that Jesus will tell me He can't wait to "see" me and spend time with me or tell me He misses me when I step too far away!
ok I feel a little bit better provided I do not get my head bit off ! lol been known to happen when I express from my heart!
Now I just want to say I do not like to always post stuff like this because I do not want the sympathy ... I just needed to put it out there in hopes that people will realise that in reality it can hurt when we treat people such as our friends differently more than we may realise! I know each person I meet is difference, the connection and so forth. What I feel for one may not be how I feel for another and that is the case in this issue I spoke about in this blog. Sometimes how I feel toward a person they may not feel the same way to me.. why I do not know and that is what I struggle with the most.
I will just lean into Him more .... and embrace Him for His love is healing! Praise Jesus for that!
thats all for now...