Abba Father.. I Cry!

I stand, I kneel attempting to keep a hold of the strength He gives, threats I endure, wondering why, I am being demeaned and belittled instead of respected for who I am. I despise the roller coaster ride, I wish for an on fire for God family that is so hungry for Him and not desiring of the evil this world presents.
I hunger, I thirst attempting to drink of Him to stay close and not wander away. Time spent with my Beloved is precious few. Falling apart, yearning to remain whole and safe in His arms once again. Words fly not meaning to be said. Demons all around are being fed. Yet I pray His grace to be found in this place. Forgiveness sound, I rise again, learning to stand up to the enemy trying to tear me apart. Ridicule, accusations deep hurt and lack of trust, what else do I do except to lean into my Jesus’ arms of love that carries me through the storm raging above.
Unappreciated, unloved by family, yet Abba Father loves me deeply, it is there I can survive the evils outside. Fighting to not take flight but to stand, to stand in His perfect sight. Wings I hide, I find it is a covering from the raging storms I desperately want to leave behind. Longing to be loved and find that incredible peace found from above, longing to be recognized and validated instead of brutally criticized. I just want to be me that He sees and to be treated fair and lovely as the white waves upon the shores tell my story.
I wait, I rest till the storm passes by and His best is poured inside this tenderized heart of mine. The rains come; I look for the rainbow, His promise of joy and freedom once again to flow.
To dance, to sing in His glorious presence, His holy name is given reverence forever and ever…. Longing to see the glorious place where tears are no more and pain subsides. To dwell in the heavenly place where songs of healing are sung and waves of joy abound....
To my Abba Father... I cry!!!
©October 15th 2007 Jennifer Shannon